At Last, New Ways Of Creating Discipline In Your Toddler (With 6 Effective Guidelines)
Sympathy and guidance are far much better than an instruction to a child.
I grew up in a family where discipline was given in form of strokes or some other sort of punishment. Some of the days where I had erred were the most fearful, I’ve ever had. I got to learn most of the things by myself, from my own experiences when I was all grown. When I was younger, I only knew not to do this or that, but I couldn’t explain why. On a positive note, my parents’ parenting style made me and my siblings’ decent human beings.
Reflecting on my life, I thought, I would want to do things differently! Mostly when I first got my girl, I could just think of the things we could possibly do together. I always remember how I felt when my mother was approaching my school, in case there was a parents’ meeting. I would be ecstatic, I wanted everyone to see how beautiful she was, and I deeply wanted her to be proud of me. Thinking that my child would want that from me, makes me know that she would not intentionally do something to spite me. So now, how do I create a healthy relationship with my child even when they seem to be doing something wrong?
When your toddler acts out, it is not that they are a bad child. Most parents rush out to give harsh treatment to the child because often they don’t know what to do or they have stress they are dealing with. I am not suggesting that you should smother your child with love because lack of discipline is tantamount to neglect. Here are some of the tips I have used to create a healthy relationship with my child without leaving discipline out.
1. Remember your child is a human being too.
No one is perfect, so do not place unrealistic expectations on your child. If you were to point out only the negative things about people, then what a task you will have! Everyone thrives where there is positive acknowledgment, and so does your child. Point out the good things they do, it could be something simple as sharing a toy with their friend, or even putting back their toys in the right place. This positive approval inclines them to continue doing good. In their head, it registers that they are good, and they should act as such! Be watchful of what you speak, withhold the negative, and if there’s a need of saying it, then do it in a kinder way, to find a solution for it.
2. Create time to bond with your child.
Life activities are hardly ever exhausted, and the next thing you will know is that your precious little toddler is moving out to go to college! Often when a child shows indiscipline like crying all the time and throwing tantrums or even fighting, they are simply shouting, “look at me!”, “see me!” They want that attention; they crave it and the only way to get it is to do something that will piss you off. Trust me, spending time with your child works wonders! Create time to speak to them, even in that gibberish language. Play with them, cook with them, and do all these activities together. This is just a toddler and so their thinking will be that of a child, they will make a mess here and there and that is the beauty of parenthood. Allow your mind to go to their level and have fun doing it. That way, these children will grow to be more confident, they will know that their voice is heard, and they will not shy away from showing who they really are.
3. Use calm outcomes.
Most of the time when my daughter does something wrong, maybe drops my phone or I find her scribbling on the wall before I even get to speak, she says sorry. Immediately, if I had started to get infuriated, I calm down and tell her not to do that, and hand her a drawing book instead. I get to understand that there is room for improvement without necessarily making her feel terrible about herself. It is easy to take that phone from them or give them a spanking, but that will not prevent the matter from happening again. Without showing anger, you can explain the consequences of their bad behavior, and this gives them a chance to do the right thing. Part of growing is learning and getting knowledge from an early age that when you do something, something can happen in return. Using calm outcomes teaches your child to be responsible and it encourages better behavior.
4. Use creative distractions.
How often are you in the middle of doing something important but then your toddler comes in making all these demands? The thing that first comes to your mind is to just make them go away for a little while. However, you can create some distractions, like playing with them for a few minutes, leading them to their play area, or simply taking some time to take them for a walk. Try not to dismiss the child, but rather make sure their need is attended to and they are well settled.
5. Do not withdraw your affection.
Many times, parents think that they can just switch off from their kids when they do something wrong. They tend to withdraw their affection from the child until they fix their behavior. Withdrawing your affection shows your child that your love is conditional and that is far from creating a sense of security in them. Loving your child, should not be a do as I say affair. In such an environment, the child easily grows to always evaluate their self-worth and can easily distrust you and other people’s feelings. Always love your child, even when they do things that aren’t good, find a better way to communicate and solve the issue.
6. A child cries, and that is okay.
Rules are necessary to guide a child’s behavior. Their emotional responses to the rules you have put down are allowed and even encouraged. A toddler has many conflicting emotions and sometimes, they may not know how to express them. They may feel anger, disappointment, and even frustration, especially when they don’t get what they want. A child should be able to express how they feel without your judgment. Give them room to feel and be there to help them adjust.
Loving your child does not mean keeping them happy all the time. It is doing what seems hard to do and not avoiding those power struggles. Your child needs respect as anyone else does, and you must help them know what is right and wrong while still helping them develop authentic self-discipline. The goal is to have joy in parenthood and in this cooperation, Forever is a long time to create an unhealthy connection. As you parent, you learn- to be a more patient person, able to learn and unlearn. Praise yourself where it is due and remember all the great work you are doing even if it is that one thing each day.
About Lynette Ndururi.
I am an experienced content writer. I enjoy writing, my head always has something! And I love sharing that with you.
